December 3, 2019

A mass today, my wife died seven years ago. I wrote this a couple of months after her death:

"I am still reeling but still following initial Mantras that I gave my two sons, ages 25 and 20: Stay Groomed, Keep up Routines and Stay Busy.

I have kept busy cleaning out the apartment, putting her clothes and shoes (an incredible amount) in storage for eventual donation to charity. I realize that the keep busy part is a coping mechanism. This catches me when I am driving to work or at Mass. The times I have to myself and my thoughts. The grief comes and I almost start crying. I shake it off and deal with it. If you are alone, that is when it comes. Luckily, I go to sleep easily, though sometimes I wake up early and stay up."

Here is an article with strategies on how to cope: Grief

April 11, 2016

This book came in a gift basket after another devastating loss of a family member. I now read a meditation every morning.



XVIII.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

February 24, 2014

A powerful piece on 60 Minutes last night on Liam Neeson. His thoughts on the death of his wife Natasha Richardson made me well up in tears. 60 Minutes Overtime had some additional insights: Living with Grief.

“Dealing with grief, dealing with loss-- there is power in hearing how other people have dealt with it and power in hearing how other people have faced it and live with it.” Anderson Cooper.

In the broadcast, Liam Neeson talked about the restorative effect of keeping busy:

Liam Neeson: I'm not good with-- without work. I just don't-- I wallow too much. You know? And I just didn't want to-- especially for my boys, to be-- seem to be wallowing in sadness or depression or--

Anderson Cooper: Having a schedule. Having some place to go. Having--

Liam Neeson: Having a schedule. Yeah. Yeah.

Anderson Cooper: That helps?

Liam Neeson: That helps a great deal.